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On Writing; Inspired by Erma Bombeck
“I’ve taken my typewriter to the hospital with me for kidney infections. I have taken it on camping trips, and the sand has gotten in the keys. It is just like the most fierce habit you can imagine. It is there, and it stares at you like a conscience.” ~ Erma Bombeck I must write.… Read more
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The Mystery in the Cook Book
I pulled the book off the shelves that looked most promising for a real recipe for rough puff pastry. The Great British Baking Show offered more inspiration than information, and Wolfgang Puck’s book looked more promising than most on the St. Albans library shelves. The book held that exquisite new book smell to it, and… Read more
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Teachers’ Kids
“Out, out brief candle,” I said. “Shakespeare is so antiquated. They’re taking him out of the schools now. He’s irrelevant,” said Nick. My son was six. “Can you tell a story in a thousand words or less in iambic pentameter? I didn’t think so.” “Just tell me a bedtime story,” he said. “It was a… Read more
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Black Licorice
“Which house shall we hit next, the brick one or that long white one with just the porch light on?” The Bunny Sisters collaborated. Trick or Treat was a serious matter. It had to be done in the most efficient and interesting of ways. Their costumes were fashioned of dresses from the thirties and their… Read more
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An Unlikely Account of Lincoln’s Tophat
Not many people knew of Mercucio Sibedow, haberdasher to the presidency. Mercucio grew up south of the Mason Dixon line. He learned from his daddy how to make hats and ties, leather gloves, fashion mens finishing touches. You’d think that finishing touches were woman’s work, but that would be absolutely not true. In the world… Read more
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How to hide a genius
As a society, we paint the most malformed picture we can grumble about. We tangle our thoughts in knots of despair so tight we can’t move from one group to the next without dire consequences. Once you move, there’s no going back, especially if you’ve moved “down.” Shunning is done with silent delight. Open, honest,… Read more
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Holiday Fruit Salad
Thanksgiving is about fruit salad. Forget the birds and big gourds, even the shellfish and breadcrumbs. It’s all about the fruit. When Dad was little, his dad would make this incredible fruit salad during the holidays. When you’re from Clay county WV, that fruit salad is a gourmet delight. Grapes, bananas, mandarin oranges, fruit cocktail,…
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Flu and Cold Season
Getting old has symptoms. Stuff I’d always made jokes about in people are really true. Losing hair, eyesight, and teeth aren’t funny things that happen, but do. I’ve always been a list maker and note taker. Memory loss may or may not occur, I don’t know. What I need to remember, I do. The power…
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The Plan
“I’ve got a plan,” said Norris. He looked around the room until his eyes found the dog. It was a poodle, a big brown one. In the poodle world it had several names: German Water Retriever, Standard Poodle, Brown Abstract Poodle, Spoo, Soup Hound, West Virginia Brown Dog, Opal Pearl. Madam, the saddle back, black…
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The Code
I began drafting the next “Code” last night. Of all the Christmas traditions floating around, my favorite is the Christmas code. My boys tolerate it, everyone else finds it mildly entertaining, and it brings a huge grin to my face every Christmas celebration. I don’t put name tags on packages, I have a secret code…
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Red Wagon
Life seems incomplete without a red wagon of some sort in my life. Now that my gardening wagon has been stolen, trash and all, from my back porch, there’s a whole in it. There’s a hole in the fence, too. It made me so mad to have to put the fence back together I thought…
Devonne Brown 