Devonne Brown

Getting old has symptoms. Stuff I’d always made jokes about in people are really true. Losing hair, eyesight, and teeth aren’t funny things that happen, but do.  I’ve always been a list maker and note taker. Memory loss may or may not occur, I don’t know. What I need to remember, I do. The power of the list and written word is formidable. I have enough presence of mind to make lists, stick to them, and write important things down to execute or remember when necessary. I have enough presence of mind and always have to create these magic pieces of paper, regardless if they’re torn from a newspaper or typed on fine stationery. Albeit somewhat silly, that too has been one of my characteristics. 

One of the better characteristics of aging is that I drive by my phone’s GPS all the time. I won’t even go to the grocery store without it. I like to take scenic, alternate routes. I learn something new every time I travel. There are hundreds of side streets, diversions, and ways to get anywhere. I love finding paths less traveled, or more traveled as the case may be. I’m not afraid to go a different route. I don’t see that as a symptom of aging, but the advanced creativity of lifelong learning. There is a difference.

There are signs of growing old that are too indelicate to  mention, lady symptoms. We were warned of these things when we had babies, but the reality of them didn’t make sense at the time. These issues started when I got the flu. The uncontrollable cough forced me to take drastic action at the drugstore. I was mortified. Still am. I’m in my early sixties for heaven’s sake, this should not be happening to me, I’m a vibrant woman.

So what if my hair is nearly white? What if I want to go on a date of all things?

It’s only been a week since I was down with the flu. In this age of pandemic, when everything is worse, colds, flu, Covid, and crud I subjugate myself to shame and humiliation, as if fever, aches, chills, and vomiting weren’t enough. The lingering side effects of the cough haunt me night and day. Can anyone notice? I stay as far away from others as possible, wear larger than life clothing, and hope for the best.