Devonne Brown

Once upon a time, I felt like I was separate from everyone else, standing off to the side by myself. I felt ugly and freakish. I just didn’t feel like I was in the forest with the rest of the trees. I felt like a different species that had been planted in the yard as a specimen, a lawn ornament.

In school it was clear I wasn’t part of the party. I wasn’t to mix with the other kids. I was outright told so by the girls who were once my friends, my transgressions were too much for them. So I learned to stay away from flocks that pick and poke at each other, preferring to stand alone. 

I felt that I was likeable but not lovable. Sometimes, I was needed but not wanted. I was an accessory, useful, helpful, but not important enough to contribute essential ideas. 

I made friends one by one, but kept them away from each other so they couldn’t gang up on me. I didn’t even like to go to family gatherings for the same reason. I felt like I had a target on my head if I was in a group social setting. Groups without purpose were dangerous to me.

When I discovered theatre in high school then college, my life changed. Drama gave me purpose. I found a tribe of souls as broken as me who focused on make believe. We learned to trust each other. The drama was for the stage and we became a forest of misfit friends, and still are to this very day.