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On Writing; Inspired by Erma Bombeck
“I’ve taken my typewriter to the hospital with me for kidney infections. I have taken it on camping trips, and the sand has gotten in the keys. It is just like the most fierce habit you can imagine. It is there, and it stares at you like a conscience.” ~ Erma Bombeck I must write.… Read more
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The Mystery in the Cook Book
I pulled the book off the shelves that looked most promising for a real recipe for rough puff pastry. The Great British Baking Show offered more inspiration than information, and Wolfgang Puck’s book looked more promising than most on the St. Albans library shelves. The book held that exquisite new book smell to it, and… Read more
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Teachers’ Kids
“Out, out brief candle,” I said. “Shakespeare is so antiquated. They’re taking him out of the schools now. He’s irrelevant,” said Nick. My son was six. “Can you tell a story in a thousand words or less in iambic pentameter? I didn’t think so.” “Just tell me a bedtime story,” he said. “It was a… Read more
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Black Licorice
“Which house shall we hit next, the brick one or that long white one with just the porch light on?” The Bunny Sisters collaborated. Trick or Treat was a serious matter. It had to be done in the most efficient and interesting of ways. Their costumes were fashioned of dresses from the thirties and their… Read more
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An Unlikely Account of Lincoln’s Tophat
Not many people knew of Mercucio Sibedow, haberdasher to the presidency. Mercucio grew up south of the Mason Dixon line. He learned from his daddy how to make hats and ties, leather gloves, fashion mens finishing touches. You’d think that finishing touches were woman’s work, but that would be absolutely not true. In the world… Read more
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How to hide a genius
As a society, we paint the most malformed picture we can grumble about. We tangle our thoughts in knots of despair so tight we can’t move from one group to the next without dire consequences. Once you move, there’s no going back, especially if you’ve moved “down.” Shunning is done with silent delight. Open, honest,… Read more
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Hope
Moonlight Shadow, by Gabriele Corno I meant to get the chairs under the deck before winter came, I really did. I enjoy watching the ducks and geese on the pond so much that I just didn’t want to move the chair. My chair. I moved all the other ones under the deck, that should count…
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The Impossibility of Ice Plumbing
“What do you mean something’s wrong with the kitchen sink, I just spent 4500 dollars getting it fixe?”
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Big Deals of London
“Marianne, fun stuff comes with a certain age.” Sarcasm dripped. “ Pain comes out of nowhere, it leaves one disgusted and usually debilitated in some sense of the word.” Her thumb was out of commission for a weekend once. She couldn’t use her left hand, gratefully, She was right handed, but it made typing a…
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Gypsy Wagon
Show Biz “Oh, come on. You can be Festus and you can be Ms. Kitty,” “But, I want to be Matthew. He’s the sheriff,” he was being petulant, we all knew because his lower lip was sticking out. He was a decent actor. “You can’t be Matthew. You get all the women in the cat…

