Devonne Brown

Today is a day that I have lots of unexpected things on my mind. I’m not feeling particularly creative as much as documentative about it.

There’s flour all over the kitchen because there’s no point in cleaning it up yet. I’ve yet to make the pastry for the pasties. I expected to have that done by now. I still have time, but I’m not as ambitious as I thought I was.

I started  making the crust for the pie at 5 this morning. I did my best not to work the all butter crust too much too much. I even blind baked it with parchment lined beans for twenty minutes like they do on Bake Off to keep it from getting the dreaded soggy bottom. I hope it works. I set the timer for 40  minutes like the apple crunch recipe called for.

I didn’t expect it to take over two hours to nearly brown. I’ve been setting the timer every fifteen minutes for a very long time. It just now got brown enough and crunchy.

I haven’t started the green beans yet. I don’t put water in them any more, just cover them with bacon and simmer them on low. They turn out shriveled and seasoned just like my grandmother made many years ago. I’ve been saving them since summer. I didn’t expect to use them until Christmas, but my freezer died, and I have to or they’ll rot. Besides, Nick won’t be here this Christmas. With one boy shy of a set of twins, it will be a much different holiday this year, much different. I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t expect it to be here so soon.

I didn’t expect my world to change so abruptly, but it does. I’m older and achy and contemplating retirement if I possibly can. I’m not even sure it’s possible. On one hand it is, on the other, it isn’t. I never expected a lot of things today.

I didn’t expect to write a piece like this, I expected to write a light hearted fiction piece, or a piece of wisdom, not my reality.