What do I know that’s true? I know that my family and money are important whether I like it or not. Even my sister and my brother, whom I rant and rave and write about all the time, even when I don’t like them, are all important to me. No one knows us like our family does. No one loves us like they do. Even under all the layers of discontent, there is a layer of love that cannot be lost.
It goes without saying that my children taught me to love like I’ve never felt before the minute they appeared from my womb. I made the doctor greet them by name when he pulled them out of me.
My love for them is fierce and fearful. I have always been afraid of not being able to provide for them, of not having enough money to care for them. Even now that they are adults I worry that they will need something that I cannot provide.
It is true that I will not always be able to provide for them, but it is true that I will always want to. It is true that there is nothing that my children can do to separate their love from me. They can piss me off to the very bone, but I will love them. That’s what families do.
There is no need for my children to ever sit in terrified silence as long as I have a home. They will always have a home if I have one.
Devonne Brown 
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