Devonne Brown

Nobody can even see how I do it. Nobody is even watching, I wouldn’t show them anyway. It is said that “integrity is what you do when nobody is watching.” What if the outcome is good. Do the ways justify the means? 

I have work to do that I haven’t done, but will be on time. Is procrastination wrong? I’ve read it’s part of  my ADHD, my lack of concentration skills. I get to the end of the job, but the middle is a mess. Is that integrity? I am quiet and don’t talk or express my opinion in groups. I draw blanks when asked questions. I have no communication. I am blank, like I’ve never read or paid attention. Is that a lack of attention? Somehow I live, but others look at me funny. I’m not sure it’s with respect.

I have rituals that keep me focused on the end. Nobody can see what I do. Nobody is watching. Does that count as integrity or just plain weirdness? I release my wishes and goals to the universe and hope for the best. I hear that’s how life manifests itself. 

So far it’s kept my house from falling down, but February is coming and mice are everywhere. Thank God for the black cat that keeps them at bay. I think I need another one, but the old Tom Cat says “Absolutely Not.”