Devonne Brown

“My mind is like somebody emptied the silverware drawer on a trampoline and the boys are jumping on it,” Ruth told Janice while she scrubbed the bathroom floor. Janice was in the bathtub cleaning the walls and around the window. So much mildew, it flourished in the hot soapy steam of the shower. “I don’t know how I want the next part of my life to look, but it needs to be quiet, with music in it. Maybe singing hymns at bars with Rebecca, I don’t know, I’m still pondering on it.”

“Ruthie, what you need is some sort of quiescence. You need to settle down and listen to yourself for a while. That brain of yours goes a million miles an hour. Hand me the ammonia,” Janice poured an extra tablespoon of the chemical out on the surface and wiped out the window sill good. Dipped her rag in her bucket and continued. “You’ve been around racket all your life, you need to listen to that small still voice inside of you. I know you can’t stand noise any more. I’ve seen your head ‘bout come off when you had to watch after the kids, especially if they brought the dog.”

“I need to schedule peace so nobody can take it from me. I’ve learned from working all these years that if you schedule shit, people respect it. Nobody will mess with a schedule. I have to have a job though, I need people, and I need to get out of the house. I’m making a plan, Janice, wet my rag for me will ya?”

Janice rinsed out Ruth’s rag in the hot bucket, wrung it out and handed it back to her. “I’m thinking I can write for myself for an hour or two in the mornings, edit for a client for two hours after that, do water aerobics, then volunteer at either the animal shelter or hospice. I haven’t decided which. Both have their equal share of joy and sorrow. The schedule will give me peace and keep the noise level down to nothing, except for the barking dogs, but that’s something I know would come up and I can get away from. It’s not the same as being trapped by the kids and their dogs. 

Ruth wiped off the sides of the commode.”I know I’m thinking out loud here, Janice, but  I won’t have to listen to the kids at school scream at me or each other anymore. No more data meetings and faculty drama. Nobody’s trying to figure out an angle about sick days and insurance. It’s just me and my house then. What do you think?”

“I think you should go ahead and throw these curtains away. Make new ones or get new ones, these aren’t worth washing. Hospice and animal shelter are good choices. Animal shelters can be pretty heartbreaking though. You know you’ll bring something home with you, who’ll take care of it when something happens to you? There’s that to think about.” 

“Janice, that’s a no brainer. If I bring a critter home and I die, well…they’ll take it back. That’s one of the bonuses of that volunteer job. Either one is going to give me peace, don’t you think?”