Devonne Brown

Four kids were playing on their phones, two were dancing in the aisles. Three were playing drums on their desks. Everybody had something important to say louder than the one who just spoke. Quiet was something that happened after 5:00 p.m. when the custodian put the wooden wedge of the doorstop on top of the light fixture when the day was done. 

Mr. Warren blew a whistle to quell the rowdy class. The crowd-in-a-box jerked into silence when the shrill squeal pierced their ears.

The tirade began. 

“When I give you an assignment, it’s not to act like fools. What are you doing? Up dancing? Pounding? An in-class editing assignment doesn’t include Phone-a-friend, now, give me your phones, you know the policy,” Mr. Warren lost it. The class looked doleful, uninspired, and angry. 

He attempted a four phone confiscation. He started writing and pushed the white button. Mr. Wallace called the office. “I have a multiple phone confiscation situation in room 301. Backup requested.” 

“Can I go to the bathroom? I’ll have a bladder spasm if you don’t let me go to the bathroom,” said Donja. The door opened before Mr. Warren got the opportunity to decline her request. The principal and the school cop entered the classroom, arms crossed, faces dour.

Mr. Warren handed his list to the school cop. The cop called Donja and her phone to the front of the room first. “I’m going to the bathroom. If I have a bladder spasm, it’ll be on you. I have a doctor. You can’t have my phone either. I’m calling my mom.” Donja blew past the cop.

“We have a runner, Donja’s loose.” said the cop into the school walkie talkie.

The special ed teacher was the first to answer. “Girl’s bathroom. Got her.”

“I will not come out and you cannot make me. I got the bladder spasms,” said Donja from the sanctuary of the 6th grade girl’s bathroom. “Walk in this door and I own this county.” When did sixth graders get so old? The special ed teacher, being a man of discernment, backed away from the door. 

Four fine women, a nurse practitioner, the school psychologist, a female cop, and the principal all rushed to the aid of Donja. She was not only extricated from the situation, but sent to see the nurse practitioner as well. She did not check the right boxes for bladder spasms, so she didn’t get a get out of class card free for them, but she was instructed in the exercises to prevent or reduce them, just in case. 

Donja was also given five days in the Student Support Center, for her crime, a prettier name than In School Suspension. Donja was so pissed that she called her mom on her phone in the middle of the Student Support Center before lunch to come and get her. She didn’t care about school policy. She’d rather have a ten day Out of School Suspension at home and use her phone than work in a school, phoneless and disconnected, from the outside world and her friends.