Devonne Brown

Mary ran ten steps and stopped. She felt her ass bounce up and down like a sack of rice. “Pam, I can’t do this. I’m twenty-five pounds overweight, my center of gravity is right below my knees, and there’s no way I’m running fifteen miles.”

“Mary, bend over and touch your toes ten times. Every time you touch your toes take a breath and make an affirmation to God that He will carry you to the finish line. His hands will lift you up and move you closer with each breath toward the end of the fifteen mile marker. You will cross that line with dignity and grace.”

“What did you smoke this morning, Pam? You told me you quit. That’s total bullshit, and I believe you believe it with all your heart. What do you get out of me running in this stupid race. You know within your whole being that I’m only here because you said I’d be able to fit into your green velvet twirly dress after the race, but I’m not going to like doing this, and I’m going to bitch and moan the whole way.”

Pam fell on the ground laughing. It took her a minute to catch her breath. “I’m going to have to buy you a new twirly dress. Mine’s way too long all over. You’d have to wear ten inch stiletto roller blades to get around in mine. You run the race, I’ll worry about the proper dress.” 

“I don’t rollerblade either. Don’t embarrass me. Just send me the link, I’ll order my own dress. This isn’t worth it.”

“Don’t be a spoil sport. I think you can do way more than you think. I’ve seen you on your son’s roller blades and they don’t even fit. You were flying…you didn’t need to fly into the rose bushes but you did fly. I promise, that dress is yours, easy, if you just put these roller blades on and roll around with me for a while. We need the exercise and the world needs to see grey headed dowager types not bleeding on rollerblades. We are phenomenal women. Let’s show them.

“I do not look like a Roller Derby Queen, nor do I want to. I’m a delicate flower. Feminine to the core. Sweet as sugar, sexy as all get out, those roller blades better not ruin this little old lady’s reputation. I don’t want to end up in another doctor’s office because of skates again, Pam.” 

“Did you forget I’m a nurse?” asked Pam.

“Yeah, well some shit you can’t do. Compound fractures, internal bleeding  shit. I love you, Pam, and have all the faith in the world in you, but I am not putting these skates on and rolling around a track with potential gravel hazards all over the place. This isn’t a protected, manicured skating rink you know.”

I wasn’t leading the conversation the way Pam wanted it. That was a problem. People didn’t want me to say “no” to them. Maybe no one wanted anyone to say no. 

First rule of the road, “You’re always allowed to tell somebody, “No,” even if it involved a twirly dress.”