Devonne Brown

“Here, have some firewood,” I told Suze before Caine could get there. “We’ll make a fire so he won’t mess with it. I hate it when men think they have to fix every fire a woman starts. It’s unnecessary and downright insulting. They just don’t get it. Dad was always bad about that, and Caine was a tyrant about it. He’d dismantle the damned thing even if it was blazing. I brought a starter log and everything. It was perfect. Screw him. “That little shit always gets in the way,” I thought out loud. Suze agreed with me whether she nodded or not. 

Caine would pull up on his Harley any minute now strapped with booze under his seat compartment and weed in his helmet. He was his own welcoming committee. God, I hoped he didn’t bring his wife. Neither of us had met her and didn’t want to. Heather was wife number six. We’d already judged her from her pictures and couldn’t stand the sight of her. We were sisters and judging our brother was our job.

She had long stringy gray hair she could sit on, and it wouldn’t even pull. And how many bugs did she have to pick out of those buck teeth every time she rode with him on that damned bike anyway? Why didn’t he at least buy a bug shield for her for a wedding present?

It was winter, and maybe we wouldn’t have to find out. We might just go together and buy her a bug shield helmet for Christmas. She was probably a wuss and wanted to stay home instead of meet his family. We could fix it or deal with it. We prayed that was the case anyway.

I don’t know, Suze might have been amused at the weed, people lighten up when they get older. She went through a real holier than thou phase a few years ago when her mother-in-law ran the Baptist Church down south, but that was before Suze’s husband, Jim, had that parasailing accident.

It changed both of them. He saw Jesus and a mermaid and mellowed out a whole lot. Mildred and Buford were the church leaders at the time and came and prayed over his bed in the hospital. He hadn’t realized Mildred and Buford had been such pains in his ass until they said, “Since God has brought you back from the brink of the abyss, it’s only right you give Him a million dollars.”

Seriously?

He called security right then and there.

Mildred, Buford, and the nurses thought he was delirious for a hot minute. 

He thought they were Satan and his Shrew and told them to “Get thee behind him and the hell out.” They were never seen again, not in his room, nor in the Baptist Church. Good thing too.

Jim found the whole experience liberating. His business flourished and his life got happier. So Suze might have taken a couple of hits after all. She sure needed something to take the stick out of her ass. I know she would have appreciated the booze. She did like a shot of bourbon, not that Crown apple shit, flavoring in bourbon was a crime against nature.

Though Woodford Reserve was more to our taste. I figured we’d roll one with our brother for old times sake as long as his wife stayed home. Families do have their secrets.

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